Joe De Sena

If you think that seeing a therapist is shameful, consider how you might handle a physical injury. If you’re hurt and want to overcome your injury, then you’ll see a doctor, get the surgery, and do the physical therapy to return to form. The same holds true for psychological injury. If you want to get better, then you’ll see a therapist and do the work, including being honest with yourself.

If you think your shortcomings aren’t fixable, you won’t address them, or you’ll pretend they don’t exist. As a result, your fears become self-fulfilling.

The first step is to acknowledge your imperfections. It’s critical to have a mindset in which you see yourself as flawed. ... Another part of the winner’s paradox, then, is that confidence allows you to own your flaws. Confidence begets humility and a recognition, no matter how good you are, that you have a lot to learn. And knowing that you’re a long way from perfect doesn’t make you feel ashamed—it makes you excited, because you get to continue your pursuit of excellence and keep improving as you go.

A true champion never stops improving, and this dedication to continuous improvement is one of the keys to greatness. Remember that there’s always room for growth because you’re never as good as you’re capable of being.

Truly confident people can accept corrective feedback and still maintain a positive view of themselves. In contrast, people who resist constructive criticism are usually hiding a nagging fear that they’re not good enough. If you harbor self-doubt, any criticism will bring those doubts to the surface, so you push back.

The highly trained athlete appears to perform effortlessly. In reality, they trained for thousands of hours and did the hard work while you weren’t watching to make things look so easy.

All winners put in the work. This is the one hard fact you must recognize if you want to excel. Beyond their commitment to deliberate practice, though, there is very little all winners have in common.

Just as physical flexibility gives you an enhanced range of motion and lets you compete from a greater number of positions, mental flexibility allows you to take advantage of a vast array of approaches, techniques, and styles.

We should be clear: The goal is not to be normal. The goal is to be abnormal without being pathological.

The Spanish term for wrestling is la lucha, which means ‘the struggle,’ and the mental wrestling you must do can be as difficult a struggle at times as the physical one. But it can have huge payoffs if you’re willing to fight for it.

Extreme virtues can morph into destructive vices.

We can’t expect our children to be healthy and resilient humans if we aren’t.

If you get nothing else from this book, know that our ability to face obstacles and fail forward and learn from mistakes is success in disguise. That’s right, failing is succeeding.

I believe the number one gift we have no choice but to force upon our kids is fluency in overcoming obstacles. That skill correlates with their success. ... Let’s do this. Let’s raise resilient kids who are ready for anything.

Creating a daily schedule and a consistent routine is a surefire way to go from unmotivated to motivated and aimless to amazing. It holds you accountable to yourself. It keeps your day from being upended by passing feelings, cravings and wants.

But here’s the thing about me: when my brain—or anyone else, for that matter—tells me Don’t do it, I feel an immediate desire to do the opposite.

Work ethic is a set of values based on consistency and diligence. Your work ethic is closely tied to your character. It’s a part of you. Work ethic is internalized acceptance that struggle is to be expected and that doing the task at hand without complaining is morally right.

Do you want your family to have the same thoughts running through their heads that you do? If not, it’s time to change. Now that you’re noticing what’s happening in your mind, it’s time to put that voice on mute.

True North is directly related to your legacy. And everything you do, every action you take, every decision you make, must move you forward toward this legacy.

This may be the hardest lesson of all: that pain and adversity are not a challenge, but an opportunity—a gift from the universe, a blessing from God. If you know what you’re afraid to do, you know exactly what you should do next.

Spartan up!

Here’s the one Spartan rule you must live by: “If your great grandparents didn’t eat it, you probably shouldn’t eat it.

The vast majority of chronic disease in America is preventable if we avoid a sedentary lifestyle, stop smoking cigarettes, and start eating better.

There is no shortcut: if you exercise often and eat healhtfully, lasting long-term results will follow

Work ethic is a set of values based on consistency and diligence. Your work ethic is closely tied to your character. It’s a part of you. Work ethic is internalized acceptance that struggle is to be expected and that doing the task at hand without complaining is morally right.

We can’t expect our children to be healthy and resilient humans if we aren’t.

This may be the hardest lesson of all: that pain and adversity are not a challenge, but an opportunity—a gift from the universe, a blessing from God. If you know what you’re afraid to do, you know exactly what you should do next.