The School of Greatness

Greatness isn’t reserved for those few who make the history books. It’s attainable by ALL of us. I like to think of it as the quest for actualizing achieved by living with areté.

There’s an impulse within each of us to, as Maslow says, become that which we are capable of becoming. If I had to summarize my entire philosophy in one sentence, this gem by Maslow would be at least tied for first: “What human beings can be, they must be.”

And, as we’ve discussed, it’s not a “Oh, that would be nice…” kinda thing. It’s a fundamental NEED. As real as our need to breathe.

And, remember, how each of us expresses that impulse is UNIQUE to us.

As Maslow tells us, in one individual it may “take the form of the desire to be an excellent parent, in another it may be expressed athletically, and in still another it may be expressed in painting pictures or in inventing things.”

And, remember x2: The true actualizer isn’t driven by an extrinsic, compulsive need to impress other people with all the trappings of success. They’re driven by an intrinsic push to become all that they can be in service to their families and communities.

The external rewards are, of course, pleasant but if we’re seduced by all that we forget the fact that the things we can be uniquely great at are often the least recognized.

I personally want to be a GREAT teacher. I’ve structured my entire life around mastering my craft and serving as profoundly as I can. And… I want to be a GREAT husband and father as well.

Although I’m proud of what I’m doing and becoming as both a teacher and a father, I KNOW my wife, Alexandra, is a GREAT (!!!) mother.

But no one (other than me and our family) is patting her on the back and telling her how GREAT she is because she’s chosen to sacrifice most of her near-term “creative” mojo to create the optimal environment for our son to flourish.

She’s channeled the same energy that made her an All-American volleyball player + Hall of Fame athlete in her small town in Illinois (how cool is that?! hehe) into being a GREAT mother.

Giving birth at home with our wonderful midwife (I “caught” Emerson and today’s his 3rd birthday so that’s especially poignant for me at the moment) before which she interviewed 40 health experts and shared their wisdom with other soon-to-be-moms. (Oh, and she created a series of guided meditations for herself for each phase of her pregnancy. (Wow.))

Reading a crazy number of parenting books and striving to master her new role as a mother while remaining committed to her meditation practice (she hasn’t missed a day in 7.5 years) and other fundamentals.

The countless sleepless nights and EXTRAORDINARY presence she brings every day. She’s *literally* neverlost her patience and raised her voice with him and he’s never spent more than 5 minutes in front of a screen because we’ve decided that cultivating his attention is our most important opportunity and responsibility.

She’s committed to and expressing GREATNESS in this domain. It’s truly astonishing. Even more so because it takes a TON of courage to walk away from the Facebook likes and podcast downloads and dollars earned to commit so deeply to something with so little external validation.

And, of course, countless awesome people do their version of this every.single.day. That’s greatness. (And, that was a long aside. :)

Here’s to all the GREAT mothers and fathers and grandmas and grandpas and husbands and wives and friends and community leaders who will never get public recognition for their greatness yet, at the end of the day, are the ones who make our world so awesome and are the catalysts for all the change we want to see in the world.

And, remember x3: “What human beings can be, they must be.”

How must yoube?

How will YOU be great today?

P.S. I typed this as I was wrapping up the day with Emerson running around my office—taking the time to let me know that the UPS guy’s name is “Wes.” He and his mom asked today. So great. Now it’s time for LEGOs!! (The new City submarine set looks pretty awesome. :)

Those eight lessons of greatness are the eight chapters of the book. Quick re-cap:

1. What’s your vision for your life?

2. What challenges are you facing and how are you going to turn that poison into medicine?

3. How’s your mind-set and how can you think more like a champion today?

4. Are you hustling? (My favorite idea. :)

5. How’s your energy? You getting enough sleep, eating well and exercising? What’s your #1?

6. How are your habits? What’s one that’s gotta go and what’s one that would change your life?

7. How’re your relationships with your “team”? What’s a little thing you can do to improve 5%?

8. Are you committed to serving? From the mundane to the profound let’s find more ways to give ourselves to our families, communities and world!

It all starts with your vision. What do YOU want to see come to fruition in your life?

Seriously. What’s your #1 goal you’d like to achieve in the next 6-12 months?

Make it challenging AND feasible. As we learned from Gabriele Oettingen in Rethinking Positive Thinking (check out the Note + Interview—this is probably THE most important scientifically-based wisdom you’ve never heard of that can most dramatically change your life!), it makes *no* sense to set a goal that you don’t actually really think you can achieve.

Stretch? Yes. Snap? No.

Let’s capture that goal in 4-6 words. This is my #1 goal I’d like to see in the next 6-12 months: _________________________________________________________.

Now let’s practice our Oettingen-inspired WOOP! process.

Remember: Wish + Outcome + Obstacle + Plan. —> WOOP!

That goal was your Wfor Wish.

What’s your Outcome/the #1 benefit you’re going to experience as a result of achieving that? Imagine it. Feel it. Capture it in 4-6 words: ____________________________________.

Fantastic. We’re on a roll. Now for the magic sauce. What’s the Obstaclewithin *you* that’s holding you back? Capture it in 4-6 words: ____________________________________.

Wonderful. Now, what’s your Planfor how you’re going to successfully move through that obstacle? IFobstacle X arises, THENyou will do behavior Y. Let’s write it down:IF____________________ THEN_____________________.

Wish + Outcome + Obstacle + Plan. —> WOOP!

P.S. I do that every day for big and little goals. It’s awesome.

P.P.S. Check out this +1 on WOOP.

As so many great teachers tell us, if we want to bring our vision to life, we need to string together enough perfect days. What I like to call Masterpiece days. I like the way Lewis has us focus on the macro and micro level here. The M&M’s of perfect days.

Step 1: What’s YOUR perfect day look like on the macro level? Have your vision/top goal in mind and, as per this +1 on Product vs. Process Goals, know what things you need to do on a DAILY basis to bring that vision to life. And, of course, include those as the most important part of your perfect days!!

Here’s what mine looked like earlier this year. Dial yours in and constantly tweak it. That’s the macro perspective. It’s a general vision of what an awesome day would look like. Micro perfect days aren’t abstract. They’re a PRECISE look at what will make TOMORROW a perfect day.

Step 2: What will your perfect tomorrowlook like? Lean into your macro vision, daily process goals and your specific opportunities for tomorrow and map it out. Then WOOP! it (seriously, this is what I’m doing every day now and what Gabriele does every day) and make it happen.

Adversity. If we are going for greatness we WILL experience it. Period. Overcoming big challenges is LITERALLY the hallmark of greatness so getting upset when we face adversity makes absolutely no sense.

This applies to everything. ESPECIALLY if our ultimate goal is to actualize our potential and become the most loving, present, creative, energized and wise human beings we can be. Then, when something goes wrong, we rub our hands together anti-fragile style knowing (!) we’re alchemists who can turn poison into medicine, make the obstacle the way and GET BETTER.

That’s how I strive to face every challenge and how Alexandra and I are facing our recent medical challenges when she had two seizures in 24 hours. That obviously sucked but we’ve learned a TON and are unquestionably going to be healthier than we’ve ever been as a direct result of the experience.

Let’s own our power and eat stress + challenges like an energy bar.

Lewis shares the inspiring story of his older brother, Chris Howes. Chris was a precocious young violinist who made the mistake of selling drugs and spent years in prison as a young man. But he didn’t waste those years. He dedicated them to mastering his craft and when he got out he HUSTLED in the most positive sense of the word to become the best he could be—which, turned out to be phenomenally great as he’s now one of the best jazz violinists in the world.

I LOVE the word hustle. It’s the essence of Mastery, The 10X Rule, The Compound Effect, The Slight Edge and nearly every other book we feature. It’s simple. If we want to be great, we need to CONSISTENTLY (key word) do whatever it takes—whether we feel like it or not.

How’s yourhustle?