The Four Purposes of Life
Finding Meaning and Direction in a Changing World
Dan Millman is one of my favorite teachers and deepest inspirations. This is a super concise, quick-reading book (150 pages) in which Dan synthesizes wisdom from many of his other books—shining light on how we can engage in the four purposes of life to create meaning in an ever-changing world. Big Ideas we explore include a quick look at the 4 purposes of life, the fact that daily life is your master teacher, the required classes in the school of life (and how you’re graded), the importance of deciding to decide (then going all in), how to live happily ever after, and making every moment extraordinary.
Big Ideas
- The 4 Purposes of LifeLet’s count them. 1. 2. 3. 4.
- Your master teacher: Daily life= Your master teacher.
- “Required Courses” in The School of LifeRequired courses.
- Decide to DecideThen give it all you got.
- How to Live Happily Ever AfterMoment to moment.
- There Are No Ordinary MomentsOnly extraordinary ones.
“With the pace of life accelerating, in a world of change, it’s not easy to maintain our balance and sense of direction. Yet we strive to do so, because a sense of direction, toward a meaningful goal, may be the better part of happiness. In this pursuit, the journey may indeed matter more than the destination—but without a destination to aim for there is no journey; we can only wander. …
When my seeking ended and the practice began, I came to understand that what we all need, even more than a happy feeling, is a clear purpose—a meaningful goal or mission that connects us with other human beings. As Viktor Frankl wrote in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, this fundamental need for purpose and direction may be as important to our psychological growth as eating is to our biological growth. …
I wrote this book for anyone seeking deeper insight into themselves and their lives, but especially for those at a crossroads, facing a challenge or change, when ‘business as usual’ no longer applies. Join me now as we explore the four key purposes that provide meaning and direction in a changing world.”
~ Dan Millman from The Four Purposes of Life
Dan Millman is one of my favorite teachers and deepest inspirations.
His book The Way of the Peaceful Warrior was one of the very first self-help books I ever read and it changed my life—leading me to read as much of his wisdom as I could. (For curious souls: The very first self-help book was The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People—which I read at 21 over 20 years ago now.)
This is our third Note on his great books. More coming soon. For now, check out Everyday Enlightenment + Body Mind Mastery.
This is a super concise, quick-reading book (150 pages) in which Dan synthesizes wisdom from many of his other books—shining light on how we can engage in the four purposes of life to create meaning in an ever-changing world. (Get a copy here.) (And check our Purpose 101!)
It’s packed with Big Ideas and I’m excited to share some of my favorites so let’s jump straight in!
Download MP3
Download PDFThe purpose of life is a life of purpose.
Get the BookThe 4 Purposes of Life
“But why four purposes? Some might argue that our sole (or soul) purpose is learning to love—that whatever the question, love is the answer—or that spiritual awakening or surrender to God is our ultimate aim. Others point out that our primary biological purpose is family—bonding with a mate, and bearing and caring for children. Still others might propose three or five or more purposes, or even suggest that there are as many purposes as there are people. Yet just as we divide all the days of the year into four seasons, and points on a compass into four primary directions, sorting our life experience into four fundamental purposes helps us create a sense of structure within the totality of our life experience. These four purposes also prepare us for, and point toward, the ultimate or transcendental awakening promised by all the great spiritual traditions.”
Four seasons.
Four directions on a compass.
Four purposes of life.
Here they are:
#1. Learning Life’s Lessons. Dan likes to say that Earth is a school and daily life is our classroom. Every moment has a lesson for us. Our first purpose is to learn those lessons. (Quick q: What is life teaching YOU right now?)
#2. Finding Your Career and Calling. This purpose is all about self-knowledge—knowing our talents, our interests and how we can combine those in service to the world. (What are YOU here to do? Doing it?)
#3. Discovering Your Life Path. This relates to a hidden purpose we are each called to discover and live. Dan draws on wisdom from his book The Life You Were Born to Live for this section. (Fun fact: On our first date Alexandra and I read to each other from this book. :)
#4. Attending to This Arising Moment. This purpose brings the prior three into a sharp focus onto the only moment that ever matters. This moment.
The book is organized around those four purposes. Let’s explore some of my favorite Ideas from them now.
I think the purpose of life is, above all, to matter; to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.
Your master teacher: Daily life
“Some years ago I received a letter expressing a dilemma shared by many: ‘Since reading your first book I’ve had a growing interest in spiritual practice, but how can I find the time when I have a wife and three children and a full-time job?’ I wrote back to remind the writer that his wife and children and work were his most important spiritual practices—because true practice is not separate from daily life but rather its very substance. As writer Adair Lara put it, ‘And some, like me, are just beginning to guess the powerful religion of ordinary life, a spirituality of fresh mopped floors and stacked dishes, and clothing blowing on the line.’
Daily life, and the journey it represents, will remain your master teacher.”
That’s from our first purpose: Learning Life’s Lessons.
Earth is our school. Daily life is our classroom.
Reminds me of Sri Swami Satchidananda’s great wisdom from The Golden Present.
Here’s how he puts it: “Almost all the devotees of God felt the pain of not doing enough to reach Him. That pain is a helpful thing. It reminds you of where you are. If you don’t feel bad about it, if you just say, ‘Okay, Swamiji said to take it easy, if I don’t meditate it doesn’t matter,’ then you will not grow. When you are not doing the right thing, you should really feel the pain. That will help you change.
At the same time, you should know your situation in life. If you are a wife and the mother of three children, you have certain family responsibilities also. If for that reason you cannot follow all the disciplines, getting up at a certain time and meditating for an hour and doing everything, you should not feel bad; but if you are not practicing due to your laziness, then you should feel hurt. If your responsibilities don’t allow you to do everything you are excused for that, because you still have your first and foremost responsibility as a wife and a mother. You have to take care of the children. That is also part of yoga. So you should ask yourself, ‘Am I not following everything due to my laziness, or due to my other responsibilities?’ Then make the other responsibilities part of your practice also. For example, if you are all alone as an individual you may clean your altar and shrine room and decorate everything and sit and meditate. But as a mother every morning you have two, three deities to decorate. Pull them out of bed, wash them, give them a nice bath, dress them well, feed them. That is the offering you are giving to God. They are living gods in your home until you see them off to school. If you ignore them and go and sit and close your eyes and meditate, then God says, ‘What is this? You offer a piece of fruit on the altar, but I am here in your home in the form of your child and you ignore me.’”
InPathways to Bliss, Joseph Campbell echoes this wisdom as he talks about the spiritual way to handle the mundane aspects of our hero’s journey: “All life has drudgery to it… In Zen, however, even while you’re washing the dishes, that’s a meditation, that’s an act of life. It’s not a chore, and it’s not what you’ve just been calling it. Sometimes the drudgery itself can become part of the hero deed. The point is not to get stuck in the drudgery but to use it to free you.”
In Mastery, George Leonard has one of my all time favorite quotes on using every moment to Optimize: “Could all of us reclaim lost hours of our lives by making everything—the commonplace along with the extraordinary—a part of our practice?”
Daily life is our master teacher.
What are you learning?
Whatever your life work is, do it well. Do it so well that no one else could do it better. If it falls on your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, like Shakespeare wrote poetry, like Beethoven composed music; sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper.’
The wise learn from adversity; the foolish repeat it.
“Required Courses” in The School of Life
“If Earth is a school, what courses do we need to pass in order to graduate? Some years ago, the answer came to me in the form of twelve core subjects—a specific curriculum hidden within (or behind) the activities of everyday life. These subjects include self-worth, discipline, well-being, money, mind, intuition, emotions, courage, self-knowledge, sexuality, love, and service, which I outline below in the catalog of ‘Required Courses.’
In this perfectly designed, fully integrated curriculum, all subjects are equally significant, and all are required. We may be tested in the area of health or money one day and encounter a pop quiz in courage the next. There are no grades, only pass or fail. A pass indicates progress; a fail provides an opportunity to learn and do better the next time. (So there is no permanent failure, only the need to repeat the course and continue with that line of study.) Bear in mind that spiritual life begins on the ground, not up in the air—even Olympians start with the basics. As your skills improve in each of these areas, you’ll begin to experience the true meaning of success in the form of higher states of clarity, energy, and action.”
Dan tells us there are 12 “Required Courses” in this school of life.
He gives us a quick tour in this book and covers them extensively in his great book Everyday Enlightenment.Check out those Notes for more.
For now, let’s focus on the fact that life is ALWAYS testing us. Pop quiz on health and money today, courage tomorrow and then love the day after.
We either pass or we fail. When we fail, we take that data, ask ourselves, “What needs work?” and then get to work such that we can pass the next time we’re challenged by life.
Let’s check in on your recent performance. Any pop quizzes lately? How’d you do?
Then there’s our fundamentals.
Remember: “Spiritual life begins on the ground, not up in the air—even Olympians start with the basics.”
btw: Dan has experience with the Olympic-level fundamentals. He was a world-champion gymnast who also led his UC Berkeley gymnastics team to a national championship. (Then he became the coach of the Stanford gymnastics team at 22.)
So… How are your fundamentals?
Eating, moving, sleeping well?
What habit can you/will you install this month? And which one can you delete?
I’m always asking myself that question. This month I’m committed to installing my new favorite habit: sunrise hikes. I’ll go on one every.single.morning this month. Fired up about it. I’m also completely deleting all online time except for the basic Google Docs/Sheets I use for admin and some Spartan training videos. Otherwise, no online time. Period. (It’s astonishing what that does for the clarity of my mind.)
You?
I will install this habit: ________________.
I will delete this habit: ________________.
(Of course, check out/review Habits 101 + Notes for Pro tips on how to rock it.)
The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. Each of us carries our own life-plan, which cannot be superseded by any other.
You have a sacred calling; The question is, will you take the time to heed that call? Will you blaze your own path? You are the author of your own life. ... Don’t let others define it for you. Real power comes by doing what you are meant to be doing, and doing it well.
Decide to Decide
“Decide to decide—and when you act, do so with the full force of your being. Second-guessing yourself is a form of self-abuse. As Zen master Ummon reminded his students, ‘When you sit, sit; when you stand, stand—just don’t wobble between the two!’
Remain committed to whatever course you’ve chosen unless you get new and compelling reasons to change course. If you’ve committed to cross a rushing mountain stream only to realize a third of the way across that the current is too swift and deep for a safe crossing, a change of plans may be not only appropriate but wise. The same is true in your larger life. If you’re staying in an abusive relationship or punishing job, it may be time to reconsider and recommit to a more life-affirming direction, taking into account your boundaries, rights, and worth. (There’s a difference between commitment and masochism.)
However, for most decisions we make, even as doubts and difficulties arise, commitment means marching forward, persisting through challenges, and keeping faith in yourself and in your course of action. Faith is the courage to live as if everything that happens, and every choice we make, is for our highest good and learning. Faith is also nourished by the higher understanding that every decision eventually leads to wisdom.”
DECIDE to decide.
And, once you’ve done so, act WITH THE FULL FORCE OF YOUR BEING. <— That’s a really powerful line worth feeling into.
What are you 100%, all-in committed to?
Are you vacillating or are you showing up and giving it *everything* you’ve got?
As Emerson says: “Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”
Let’s get clear on what we’re here to do and show up with the full force of our being.
Lord, I ask not for a lighter load but for stronger shoulders.
How to Live Happily Ever After
“Peter had convinced himself that he had no purpose because he hadn’t yet grasped a larger mission for his life. But he had failed to noticed what may be the most important purpose of all—the one that appears before each of us, moment to moment. Such moments are the building blocks that form the foundation on which we build our lives.
Attention to this arising moment has been advocated by many different sages, at different times, in a variety of cultures. Yale professor William Phelps said, ‘I strive to live each day as if it were the first one I had ever experienced, and the last one I would ever live.’ Zen sword master Taisen Deshimaru reminded his students, ‘Be happy here and now or you never will be.’ And writer Barbara Rasp points out, ‘It’s only possible to live happily ever after on a moment-by-moment basis.’
We learn life’s lessons (the first purpose), we choose our career and calling (the second purpose), and we fulfill our life path and hidden calling (the third purpose) all in this present moment. Welcome to the fourth purpose of life. You have arrived. No matter where you go, and no matter what the clock-face reads, you are always right here, right now.”
So, we learn life’s lessons, choose our career and calling and commit to fulfilling our life path.
When?
In. This. Moment.
As Dan says, “There is only now. Wherever we go is now.”
Wherever you go, there you are. And, wherever you go, it’s now.
NOW is the time to be present. To practice all this stuff we talk about.
Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now.
And NOW.
Welcome to the eternal present.
In influencing other people, example is not the main thing; it is the only thing.
There Are No Ordinary Moments
“One night in the gymnasium, after Socrates watched me fly from the high bar, perform a difficult aerial maneuver, and stick my landing, I raised my fists in elation and declared my workout over. I pulled off my sweatshirt and stuffed it into my workout bag, and we left the gym. As we headed down the hallway, he said, ‘You know, Dan, that last move you did was pretty sloppy.’
‘What are you talking about?’ I asked. ‘That was the best dismount I’ve done in a long time.’
‘I’m not talking about the dismount,’ he responded. ‘I’m talking about the way you took off your sweatshirt and stuffed it into your bag.’
I realized I had treated one moment, doing gymnastics, as special—and another moment as ordinary. Socrates reminded me, once again, that there are no ordinary moments. This realization, this challenge, lies at the very crux of your life and will determine the quality of your every moment: Can you, will you, learn to love the present moment? Can you develop the capacity to show each arising moment the same attention that you might give to a cherished friend or a lover—or at least to an online game? Will you wake up to the inestimable value or each passing moment as it slips, like a grain of sand, through the hourglass of your remaining time here?”
One of Dan’s key lessons is that there are no ordinary moments.
They are ALL extraordinary moments.
(I might have improved my posture as I typed that passage out. Hah!)
Dan’s fourth purpose reminds me of Don Miguel Ruiz’s fourth agreement: Always do your best.
Here’s how Ruiz puts in The Four Agreements: “There is just one more agreement, but it’s the one that allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits. The fourth agreement is about the action of the first three: Always do your best.”
(btw: The first three agreements are: 1. Be impeccable with your word; 2. Don’t take anything personally; 3. Don’t make assumptions.)
Ruiz continues: “Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.”
How are you showing up?
You doing your best? Making this moment extraordinary?!
There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A person’s life is a succession of moment after moment. When one fully understands the present moment, there will be nothing else to do and nothing else to pursue.
Forever is composed of moments.
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