The Enchiridion

Ah, this is genius (and a core precept of Stoicism): “Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by the opinions about the things.”

If the things that happen ABSOLUTELY cause a certain response, then EVERYONE who ever has that type of experience would have the *exact* same response. Obviously, that isn’t the case. Here, Epictetus tells us that: “for example, death is nothing terrible, for if it were, it would have seemed so to Socrates.”

Therefore, we need to recognize that it’s not the event that creates the response, it’s how we interpret the event (our “opinion” as Epictetus says) that determines everything. This is a HUGE theme in Stoic philosophy.

Marcus Aurelius says the same thing: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

And so does Seneca: “The place one’s in, though, doesn’t make any contribution to peace of mind: it’s the spirit that makes everything agreeable to oneself.”

It’s not just Stoics who teach this wisdom. EVERYONE says the same thing. Buddhists call it “emptiness,” Osho tells us to have “response-ability” and modern day gurus like Jack Canfield give us an equation to figure it out (E+R=O).

In his great book interpreting the ancient Tibetan Buddhist sutra The Diamond Cutter (see Notes), Geshe Michael Roache teaches us: “In the last chapter we spoke about the hidden potential in all things—what the Buddhists have always called ‘emptiness.’ We saw, clearly, that nothing that ever happens to us is a good thing or a bad thing from its own side, because—if it were—then everyone else would experience it that way as well. For example, our irritating person at work would strike everyone else in exactly the same way, if his or her “irritating-ness” were something inside that was flowing out of that individual and flying across the room to us. In reality though there is almost always someone who finds the person good and lovable.”

Osho (see Notes on The Book of Understanding) breaks it down for us this way: “The word “responsibility” has been used the wrong way. It gives a feeling of burden. You have to do it, it is a duty; if you don’t do it you will feel guilty. I want to remind you that the word ‘responsibility’ has none of those connotations. Break the word in two—response-ability—and you enter a totally different meaning of the word, a different direction… Response-ability simply means spontaneous response. Whatever situation arises, joyously respond to it, with your totality, with your intensity. And the response will not only change the situation, it will change you.”

And, Jack Canfield gives us an equation to consider (Event + Response = Outcome) and tells us this in his great book The Success Principles (See Notes): “It is time to stop looking outside yourself for the answers to why you haven’t created the life and results you want, for it is you who creates the quality of the life you lead and the results you produce. You—no one else! To achieve major success in life—to achieve those things that are most important to you—you must assume 100% responsibility for your life. Nothing less will do.”

I could go on for quite a while on this subject as it’s one of THE most important Big Ideas echoed throughout the literature. For now, ask yourself: where am I blaming the outside world for my response and can I see how it’s my INTERPRETATION of that event that’s causing the problem?!?

Ah… shucks. We’re on a roll so we might as well bring in some scientific positive psychology, eh? :)

Sonja Lyubomirsky calls our negative interpretations “barrier thoughts” and says this in her *phenomenal* book The How of Happiness (see Notes): “Write down your barrier thoughts, and then consider ways to reinterpret the situation. In the process, ask yourself questions like… What else could this situation or experience mean? Can anything good come from it? Does it present any opportunities for me? What lessons can I learn and apply to the future? Did I develop any strengths as a result?”

So, again. Back to you: you have any opinions/barrier thoughts getting in the way of your happiness? Let’s polish ‘em! :)

Eckhart Tolle says this (see Notes on The Power of Now): “Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

→ “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” I love that. And I like to think of it this way: Whatever’s happening, act as if you SCRIPTED it. That takes you out of a whiney, helpless, victim role and puts you into an empowered creator role. Which is a VERY good thing if we’re interested in happiness. :)

Byron Katie also goes off on these matters in her great book Loving What Is (see Notes). She says: “The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want.” And: “I realized that it’s insane to oppose it. When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.” (That’s a good one. :)

Katie also says: “If you want reality to be different than what it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.” (Funny story: I Twittered that once and someone sent me this YouTube clip of a barking cat. Hehe. :)

And, speaking of flowing with life, how about a little love from Marcus Aurelius and Anthony de Mello? First, Aurelius tells us: “O world, I am in tune with every note of thy great harmony. For me nothing is early, nothing late, if it be timely for thee. O Nature, all that thy seasons yield is fruit for me.”

While Anthony de Mello (see Notes on Awareness) says: “As the great Confucius said, ‘The one who would be in constant happiness must frequently change.’ Flow. But we keep looking back, don’t we? We cling to things in the past and cling to things in the present… Do you want to enjoy a symphony? Don’t hold on to a few bars of the music. Don’t hold on to a couple of notes. Let them pass, let them flow. The whole enjoyment of a symphony lies in your readiness to allow the notes to pass...”

So, here’s to a tranquil flow of life as we “Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are...”

Epictetus is telling us that the Big Guy in the Sky is in charge of deciding what we’re here to do on this little green planet. Our job is to align with that and play the part well!

Sonia Choquette describes this beautifully in her great book Trust Your Vibes (see Notes). She says: “Timing is the Divine’s way of again reminding us that we co-create with the Universe—we aren’t doing it alone. We plant, water, and weed the seeds of creativity, but we don’t have the power to make them grow, let alone grow according to our schedule. How it all unfolds is up to God. God’s wisdom will fulfill our deepest intentions once we set them in motion. Our part is to create the perfect conditions for the Universe to flow through us—much like our job is to create the perfect conditions for the garden to grow—but that’s all we can do. God flows through us and develops our gardens according to his own timetable. And thank goodness for that, because God knows and grows better than we do.”

And she also says this (which I think is just amazing!!!): “The Universe has a pulse and rhythm of its own, and it wants to carry you with it—so if you dance with Spirit, just remember to let it lead.”

As expected, our Stoics are in agreement on this issue. Aurelius says: “Everything – a horse, a vine – is created for some duty... For what task, then, were you yourself created? A man’s true delight is to do the things he was made for.” And, he reminds us: “Let your one delight and refreshment be to pass from one service to the community to another, with God ever in mind.”

While Seneca advises us: “Man’s ideal state is realized when he has fulfilled the purpose for which he is born. And what is it that reason demands of him? Something very easy—that he live in accordance with his own nature.”

So, what are you here to do?!? Let’s figure it out and play the part well, as we remember Seneca’s wisdom: “As it is with a play, so it is with life—what matters is not how long the acting lasts, but how good it is.” :)

Lao-tzu says the same thing in the Tao te Ching (see Notes): “When superior people hear of the Way, they carry it out with diligence. When middling people hear of the Way, it sometimes seems to be there, sometimes not. When lesser people hear of the Way, they ridicule it greatly. If they didn’t laugh at it, it wouldn’t be the Way.”

That’s awesome. So, if someone gives you a hard time for your commitment to your self-development, stay strong and remember that those who are giving you the hardest time are probably suffering the most. As Seneca comically reminds us: “The worse a person is, the less he feels it.” (And, I’ll add: “...and the more he feels the need to ridicule you for trying to improve yourself.” :)

Well that makes it simple, eh? :)

Psychologists distinguish “intrinsic” vs. “extrinsic” goals. Intrinsic goals are self-driven—you’re genuinely excited about pursuing them. Extrinsic goals, on the other hand, are externally-motivated—you’re trying to impress someone or keep up with the Joneses or do what you *think* you *should* do. Ick.

They also call intrinsic goals “self-concordant.” Tal Ben-Shahar says this about ‘em in his great book Happier (see Notes): “As research on self-concordant goals illustrates, Campbell’s belief is much more than a superstition. When we follow our bliss, we not only enjoy the journey, we are also more successful.” So, let’s follow our bliss and stay on purpose, shall we?!? :)

Although it’s more than a little weird to really feel into a neighbor’s slave doing *anything,* this is powerful. Reminds me of the great story S.N. Goenka told during my 10-day Vipassana meditation. He asked us to imagine our neighbor’s watch breaking, his bike being stolen, his wife cheating on him and all sorts of other things that happen to HIM. Slight bummer but no big deal. Stuff happens, eh?

Then, he goes through the same sequence of events only this time it happened to YOU! So, imagine: “MY watch broke.” “MY bike was stolen.” “MY wife/husband cheated on me.”

That changes things just a bit, eh? The point here is simple: don’t get all worked up about anything bad happening to you. :)

(Loose) Translation: You’d be super pissy if someone forced you to do physical work for some random person. Why aren’t you equally frustrated with yourself every time some random person takes control of your MIND with a petty insult or annoying behavior?!?

Amazing how easily we relinquish control of our minds, eh?

Marcus Aurelius tells us how silly it is to care what people think about us who DON’T EVEN LIKE THEMSELVES! He says: “The approval of such men, who do not even stand well in their own eyes, has no value for him.”

While Pema Chödrön (see Notes on The Places That Scare You) tells us how foolish it is to think OUR frustration with someone else punishes THEM and how we’d be much better off cleansing our minds of anger: “We’d be wise to question why we hold a grudge as if it were going to make us happy and ease our pain. It’s rather like eating rat poison and thinking the rat will die. Our desire for relief and the methods we use to achieve it are definitely not in sync.”

So, who’s in YOUR head? Would you let him/her take control of your body for as long as you’re letting them own your mind? (Didn’t think so. :)

Hah!!! I LOVE that.

So, next time someone criticizes you, don’t get defensive. Just say, “Oh... but if you knew ALL my faults you wouldn’t have only mentioned that!” Hehe. :)

OMG that’s strong. I break the rule here calling myself a “Philosopher” but please do know o’ fellow Philosopher that I do so less to impress and more to re-establish the fact that a Philosopher is NOT some wonky white dood sitting in an ivory tower pontificating about pedantic stuff without practicing practical wisdom.

No, I say (from the top of my soap box!): A Philosopher is a LOVER OF WISDOM so enamored with life that we passionately study its truths! (For the record: the word “philosopher” comes from the Greek philo sophia and means “lover of wisdom.” :)

Having said all that, let’s focus more on the wool and milk and less on the vomit, shall we? For, as Wallace D. Wattles says in The Science of Being Great (see Notes): “The world needs demonstration more than it needs teaching.”

To demonstration,