The Champion's Mind

I love that vision of Mia Hamm “bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion when no one else is watching.”

That Champion-level of motivation A.L.W.A.Y.S. begins with intense desire matched with a knowing that it can be achieved plus a commitment to doing what needs to do be done to make it happen every.single.day.

Remember our Motivation Equation a la Piers Steele (see Notes on Procrastination Equation)?

M = E x V / I x D

Your motivation is driven by your level of Expectancy x Value. What do you REALLY want? And do you KNOW/Expect you can get it?

Get that part of the equation right while setting daily goals that reduce Delay and you’ll drown out your Impulsivity while maintaining peak motivation.

But that’s not enough to make you “bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion when no one else is watching.”

For that, you’ve gotta be REALLY honest with yourself about what you REALLY want.

One great way to get there: Ask yourself, “What would I dare to dream if I knew I couldn’t fail.”

With that clarity, we figure out what price we need to pay and go pay it. :)

This gem from Jason Selk’s Organize Tomorrow Today is a good thing to keep in mind as well: “Greatness is predicated on consistently doing things others can’t or won’t do. Simply put, success is *not* about being brilliant. It’s about being consistent.”

What IS mental toughness?

I love Afremow’s definition.

→ “Mental toughness is the ability to remain positive and proactive in the most adverse of circumstances.”

And, very importantly, it’s “built on doing the thing that is hard over and over again, especially when you don’t feel like it.”

Genius. Reminds me of another great Idea from Jason Selk’s Organize Tomorrow Today where he talks about the importance of winning “fight-thrus”—those times when you don’t (insert whiney voice) “feel like it” and do it any way.

He says: “The amazing things that world-class athletes are able to accomplish are usually chalked up to freak ability—and that certainly can be a factor. But a much bigger factor in those athletes reaching that level is their relentless ability to consistently win the fight-thrus.”

Sounds like a mentally tough champion.

How’s YOUR mental toughness?

And, most importantly: What’s one little thing you can do to cultivate it a bit more today?

There’s a powerful beauty in being ugly but effective and having good bad days.

UBE + GBD.

← This is big. If we want to cultivate truly intense trust in ourselves, we need to know that we can pull it together when things start falling apart. Jack Nicklaus called it playing poorly well. Afremow tells us Rory McIlroy calls it “scrappy golf.”

Step #1 to making that happen is to KNOW that you will have x bad shots per round. It’s the unhealthy perfectionists among us (*waving to my old self!*) who struggle with this the most—thinking they should be able to get thru the day P.E.R.F.E.C.T.L.Y. (but only every day) and that if they don’t, it’s a sign of something being inherently wrong with them. (Hah.)

We need to hold our high standards of excellence while embracing the constraints of reality that (tragically!) we will *never* be perfect. Then… when the inevitable bad shot comes along, rather than beating ourselves up, we simply say, “Aha! There’s a bad shot. I knew you’d sneak in at some point. No big deal. Back to work.”

So… How’s your ugly?

Here’s to being ugly but effective and having good bad days! #UBE + #GBD!

Grab a pile of sand. Grip it too tightly and the sand will be squeezed between your fingers. Grip it too loosely and it’ll just slip through your grip. There’s an optimal level of intensity there. We need to find it.

Malcolm Gladwell talks about the “inverted U” in his great book David and Goliath (see Notes). Here’s how he puts it: “That’s what is called an inverted-U curve. Inverted U curves are hard to understand. They almost never fail to take us by surprise, and one of the reasons we are so often confused about advantages and disadvantages is that we forget when we are operating in a U-shaped world. …

* The psychologists Barry Schwartz and Adam Grant argue, in a brilliant paper, that, in fact, nearly everything of consequence follows the inverted U: ‘Across many domains of psychology, one finds that X increases Y to a point, and then it decreases Y. … There is no such thing as an unmitigated good. All positive traits, states, and experiences have costs that at high levels may begin to outweigh their benefits.’”

And I’m reminded by the “river of flexibility” Dan Siegel talks about in Mindsight (see Notes).

Basic idea: You need a certain amount of Structure in your life but not so much that you become Rigid. And, you need a certain amount of Spontaneity in your life but not so much that you become Chaotic. The optimal levels of Structure + Spontaneity provide the banks for your river of Flexibility. Too much of either and you’ll flood the banks.

So: Stay Flexible!

Spotlight back on you: You grasping a little too tightly or a little too loosely? How can you optimize 4%?

Evaluating our performance is important.

And…

Most of the great mental toughness coaches tell us that most of us get it wrong.

Why?

Because most of us immediately start with what we DIDN’T like about our performance. Shining a light on what needs work is, of course, important. But effective evaluation begins only AFTER you’ve recognizing what’s WORKING really well. So, start with that.

“1) What did you do that was good?”

Fantastic. Celebrate it. Do more of that. THEN, it’s time to look at what needs work—which we want to look at with the warm, neutral lens of a supportive coach.

“2) What needs to get better?”

Alright. Yep. That could use some work. I can see how I can do that better. Awesome. We’re ready for the next step.

“3) What changes should I make to become my best?”

Ah. Yes. THAT would be huge. Let’s crush that.

Good. Better. Best.

→ Good. What are you doing really well?

→ Better. What can you get better at?

→ Best. What changes should you make to become your best?!

Good. Better. Best.

P.S. I’ve shared this before but this is important not just for ourselves as we evaluate OUR performance but for our kids as well. After a game, don’t start with what needs work. Start by celebrating what was awesome.

And, remember, asking the question “How’d it go?” isn’t the optimal way to start the process b/c too often the response to that will be focused on the things that didn’t go as well as they could. Much better to start with: “What was awesome?!”

Sustained obsession. (That might just be my new favorite phrase. :)

It’s a tough nut to crack. But you know who can do it?

Smokeybot.

Remember him? He’s our friend who can smoke the tortoise and the hare by combining the best qualities of each. He’s the embodiment of sustained obsession.

Here’s how Grant Cardone captures it in The 10X Rule (see Notes): “We have all heard the fable of the tortoise and the hare. The implied lesson, of course, is that the tortoise wins because he plods along and takes his time, whereas the hare rushes, becomes tired, and misses his opportunity to win. We’re supposed to derive the meaning that we should be tortoises—individuals who approach our goals steadily and slowly. If there was a third player in the fable who had the speed of the hare and the steadfastness of the tortoise, it would smoke them both and have no competition. The fable would then be called Smoked. The suggestion here is to approach your goals like the tortoise and the hare—by attacking them ruthlessly from the beginning and also staying with them throughout the course of the ‘race.’”

Let’s remember that it’s easy to get fired up. It’s a lot more challenging to SUSTAIN that obsession. Two more quick thoughts here.

First, Idan Ravin from The Hoops Whisperer (see Notes): “Talent and fireworks on a few random nights in December aren’t enough; succeeding in the NBA requires consistency over an extended period of time— eighty-two regular season games, six months, a daily grind.”

And, back to Afremow: “Excellence is not random. It is also more than a short-term ambition, accident, or accomplishment. It is developed by design and achieved by setting and tenaciously pursuing high, competitive goals. The greatest champions in history have all had a long-range vision and plan of what they wanted to accomplish in tandem with a complete daily devotion to their specialization. Having daily or weekly improvement goals to meet will help ensure that you are always working right.”

Those are the final words to the book—a perfect little manifesto + Champion’s honor pledge.

Here’s to winning the ultimate fight and becoming Champions of our lives!