Take Your Time
The Wisdom of Slowing Down
This book was written in 1994—WAY before we blew up our brains with the Internet. Yet, the need to slow down and cultivate a calm, unhurried mind has been discussed by all the great teachers for 2,500+ years. We need the wisdom now more than ever. Big Ideas we explore include how use a red pencil, changing the channels of your mind, a quick quiz on whether meditation is right for you, and how to drive your mind safely (no tailgating thoughts!).
Big Ideas
- “Have To” to ChoiceChoice.
- The red pencilUse it to free up time.
- The remote control of your mindUse it on your mind.
- Want to be happy?Help people.
- You meditating yet?Quick quiz.
- Drive your mind safelyNo tailgating.
- Honorable restActive while centered.
- Practical wisdom + Untiring energy for the benefit of all+ Untiring energy for benefit of all.
“My first visit to Gandhi had been prompted by one simple question: how had he done this? How had he managed to remake himself from a timid law student with no purpose in life to a man so sure of himself that he could lead a nation without pressure, hurry, or fatigue? I found the answer the first evening. Gandhi had learned to live completely in the moment: whatever he did, he was one hundred percent present. And when I saw him absorbed in his evening meditation, I realized that complete absorption was the key.
I was still young then; it would be years before I was ready to learn how to apply the insights I gained that night. But gradually I understood that living in the present is the secret of an unhurried mind. When the mind is not rushing about in a hurry, it is calm, alert, and ready for anything. And a calm mind sees deeply, which opens the door to tremendous discoveries: rich relationships, excellence in work, a quiet sense of joy. It was a revelation. There was a door to the discovery of peace and meaning in every moment! All I needed to open it was a quiet mind.”
~ Eknath Easwaran from Take Your Time
As I mentioned in our Notes on Conquest of Mind + The Dhammapada + The Bhagavad Gita, Eknath Easwaran is one of my absolute favorite teachers.
I have always had Joseph Campbell as the granddaddy in my spiritual family tree and I think Easwaran is my other spiritual grandfather.
And, it really strikes me how similar they are—energetically, spiritually and intellectually; while Campbell studied mythology, Eknath was an English literature Professor in India before moving to the US and committing his life to teaching spirituality.
In any case, this book is fantastic. (Get a copy here.)
It was written in 1994—WAY before we blew up our brains with the Internet. Yet, the need to slow down and cultivate a calm, unhurried mind has been discussed by all the great teachers for 2,500+ years. We need the wisdom now more than ever.
The book, of course, is packed with Big Ideas. I’m excited to share a few of my favorites so let’s jump straight in!
(Special thanks to the wonderful people at Nilgiri Press for generously sending this book and others I look forward to featuring!)
(P.S. I learned in this book that Easwaran is his given name; Eknath is the name of his family, which is matrilineal.)
Download MP3
Download PDFIt may sound paradoxical, but however tight our schedule, however many things clamor to be done, we don’t need to hurry. If we can keep our mind calm and go about our business with undivided attention, we will not only accomplish more but we’ll do a better job—and find ourselves more patient, more at peace.
Get the Book“Have To” to Choice
“You do have a choice. You don’t have to want to do the task, nor do you have to love it. But if you prefer it to the consequences of not doing it, you can decide to commit to it wholeheartedly. Once you decide you’re going to the office party, the gas station, or the gift shop, it makes sense for you to assert more positively and powerfully (like the powerful adult you are) that ‘I am going to the store; I will be at the dentist’s at 3:00 P.M.; I am going to traffic court this morning.’”
This is another REALLY Big Idea.
We need to watch how often we use “have to” and realize that every time we say “I have to” we’re effectively diminishing our power. Not a good idea.
Seneca (see Notes on Letters from a Stoic) says: “There is nothing the wise man does reluctantly.”
While Carlos Castaneda (see Notes on The Wheel of Time) tells us: “We hardly ever realize that we can cut anything out of our lives, anytime, in the blink of an eye.”
Are you throwing “I have to…” around a lot these days? Let’s play a game and see how often we say that phrase and step into a more empowered position, shall we?!?
It is not discipline, willpower, or pressure from others that facilitates adherence to a challenging course of action. Rather, it is the freedom to choose among alternatives, the personal commitment to a mission, and the willingness to take responsibility for the consequences of our decisions that steels the will and emboldens the spirit.
The red pencil
“Long ago, when I began to see the benefits of meditation, I wanted to be sure I made time for it every day. But I couldn’t see how I could fit it in. I had an extremely busy schedule, with responsibilities from early morning until late at night.
I valued all of this, but I was determined to make meditation a top priority. So I sat down and made a list of all the things I felt bound to do.
Then I took out my red pencil and crossed out everything that was not actually necessary or beneficial. Some of the results surprised me. I found that I had been involved in activities that I couldn’t honestly say benefited anyone, including myself. I had simply become used to doing them. When I surveyed what remained, I found I had freed a number of hours every week.
The red-pencil exercise may seem painful, but very quickly you will find it liberating. You will find you have more time to do the things that are important to you, more time for family and friends, more time for everything that makes life worthwhile.”
Step 1 in Taking Our Time is to create more time by eliminating the things that just.aren’t.that.important.
Make a list of everything you do.
Bust out your red pencil.
And start crossing stuff off.
(I’ll wait.)
I recalled a line from Thoreau: ‘It’s not enough to be busy. The question is, what are you busy about?’ A good question. What did I want? I had been too busy even to ask.
The remote control of your mind
“I was at a friend’s home when I learned to use a remote control to regulate the channels on his TV. My host said, ‘You just point this thing at the television and change it to whatever you like.’
Because you have been brought up in a scientific, technological culture — not always an advantage! — you see nothing miraculous about this. There may be no visible connection between the TV and the remote control, but it works, and you take for granted that there is a scientific explanation: the device sends a signal that allows me to change channels.
This is exactly what I do with my mind. When somebody is rude to me — which is seldom — don’t think I am not aware of it. I am very much aware, but I can change the channel in my mind from anger to compassion as easily as changing channels on the TV. It’s not good to let people walk all over us, and we may need to resist when they try. But we can resist without losing compassion and respect if we know how to keep our mind steady.”
Easwaran shares a bunch of awesome stories about the first time he interacts with technology—as, growing up in a small village in India, he hadn’t been exposed to many of the things we take for granted.
I love this vision of the TV remote.
Can you change your mind as easily as you can change channels on your TV?
Easwaran can.
He puts it this way in Conquest of Mind: “The first strategy is literally ‘changing one thought for another’: a negative thought for a positive one, an unkind thought for a kind one. ‘Just as a carpenter uses a small peg to drive out a bigger one,’ the Buddha says, ‘you can use a right thought to drive out one that is wrong.’”
Negative thought?
Click.
Done.
Channel changed.
<— I like it!
P.S. Remember: “That is why all of us have wandering minds: it is simply lack of training. But just as any great physical skill — tennis, soccer, gymnastics, skiing, skating — is acquired through persistent practice under the guidance of an experienced coach, we can learn to train the mind.”
Remember that even if an activity seems trivial, when you give it one-pointed attention, you are training your mind.
Want to be happy?
“Even after centuries of civilization, we still haven’t discovered that there is only one way to be completely happy, and that is to forget ourselves in the service of others. When we forget ourselves in trying to add to the welfare of others, happiness comes to us without our asking.”
Want to be happy?
Forget about yourself and your happiness and get busy helping other people.
Marcus Aurelius echoes this in his Meditations: “Let your one delight and refreshment be to pass from one service to the community to another, with God ever in mind.”
As does Krishna in the Gita: “Strive constantly to serve the welfare of the world; by devotion to selfless work one attains the supreme goal of life. Do your work with the welfare of others always in mind.”
And then there’s this Viktor Frankl gem from Man’s Search for Meaning I haven’t shared in awhile: “Again and again I therefore admonish my students in Europe and America: Don’t aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.”
So… Back to you…
How can you add to the welfare of others a little more today?
Get on that and watch happiness come to you without even asking.
No amount of nutrition and exercise can protect us against the ravages of an untrained mind.
You meditating yet?
“I think it’s important for everybody to learn to meditate. Anybody who wants to be healthy — which means everybody — needs to meditate. Anybody who wants a calm mind and a loving heart — which again means everybody — needs to meditate.”
Q: Should you meditate?
Well, let’s take a quick little survey to see if meditation is for you:
Do you want to be healthy? Do you want to have a calm mind and a loving heart?
Sweet.
Then YOU NEED TO MEDITATE.
(And, if you didn’t answer yes to that survey then I don’t know what to say. :)
So, ARE YOU MEDITATING?
We explore how to kick off and/or optimize your meditation practice in MEDITATION 101. Check that out. (Along with our Notes on Conquest of Mind + the others in that collection!)
For now, remember: “That is why I tell everyone to make meditation their first priority. No time could be better spent.”
And: “I learned to meditate in the midst of an extremely busy life at a large university in India, where I had many cultural interests and responsibilities from early morning to late at night. That is why, when somebody comes up after one of my talks to say, ‘I would like to learn to meditate, but I don’t have time,’ I don’t take it too seriously. I know from personal experience that everyone can find half an hour a day, especially for something so rewarding.”
Plus: “I have great sympathy with people who find it hard to meditate. It is hard. In the Indian scriptures, taming the restless mind is compared with trying to tame the wind. Nevertheless, I know nothing on earth that can remotely compare with the benefit that even a little practice of this powerful discipline brings.”
Remember: “Even if your brain wanders thirty times in thirty minutes of meditation, if you keep bringing it back to the passage, you have done wonderfully.” <— We call that “Brushing the brain” in our class. You don’t judge your tooth brushing. You just brush. Same with your meditation.
There ya go. Let’s meditate!
Between one thought and the next is a tiny gap when the mind is at peace. Extending that gap is the secret of an unhurried mind.
Drive your mind safely
“The gap of stillness between one thought and another is our safety. While driving, I am told, there should be one car length between cars for every ten miles per hour of speed. When you are going fifty miles per hour, for example, safe driving demands that you maintain the distance of five car lengths between your car and the car in front.
Similarly, I would say, we can learn not to let one thought tailgate another. Tailgating thoughts are a danger signal. People who are prone to anger — or to fear, or greed, or hostility — allow no distance between one thought and another, between one emotional reaction and the next. Their anger seems continuous — just one anger car after another, bumping into each other on a fast, crowded highway.”
Do you like to be tailgated?
I know I don’t.
Whenever that happens these days I try to send some love and patience to the person behind me.
(And, now that I slowly drive the hybrid family car with the car seat, I laugh at the old version of me that was *that guy* zipping around in my Porsche. Hah. Plus yikes.)
So, here’s the deal.
If your mind is CONSTANTLY zipping around from thought to thought to thought to thought to thought to thought to thought to thought to thought to thought to thought to thought to thought, you’re tailgating yourself.
An endless string of annoying drivers recklessly endangering everyone’s life. The moment things get a little sideways, there’s a big pileup of anger/fear/greed/hostility/etc.
Quit tailgating your own thoughts with another thought. Then another one. Then another.
KNOW that you’re inviting one big fiery pileup.
We need to allow for some space between our thoughts. Remember that it’s only within that GAP that we can choose our optimal response.
I love the way George Mumford (Michael Jordan + Kobe Bryant’s mindfulness coach) puts it in The Mindful Athlete(see Notes): “Think about the eye of a hurricane, or the calm still center in the middle of a cyclone. No matter how intense the storm or what’s swept up in its gale-force winds, that calm, blue center is always there. This is the metaphor I like to use when talking about the space between stimulus and response. We all have this quiet center within us. Mindfulness reconnects us to this center space, where we fully experience the present moment and have access to the transcendent wisdom that’s often associated with conscious flow. In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, neurologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl famously described it this way: ‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’”
What’s your mental highway look like?
!!!stimulusresponse!!!
or
Stimulus… Response?
Let’s create the space. No more tailgating.
As the thinking process slows down, you can see your mind with detachment and learn to tune it just as a mechanic tunes a performance car.
Honorable rest
“I particularly like this phrase ‘honorable rest.’ Mechthild is being very careful about her phraseology. She says not just ‘rest’ but ‘honorable rest’: that is, resting at the center while contributing to life in full measure. When your mind is still, you can work hard and be active every day of your life and still be at rest, because you will not be working under the goad of personal ambition. That’s the secret of Gandhi, who worked for a selfless cause fifteen hours a day seven days a week even in his seventies but never got exhausted, because, he said, ‘I am always at rest.’”
Honorable rest.
What a beautiful phrase and idea.
“Resting at the center while contributing to life in full measure.”
<— THAT is what we’re looking for.
This whole idea of slowing down is NOT about checking out of life.
It’s actually the EXACT (!) opposite.
It’s being willing to get out of the shallow end of the pool where we’re constantly distracted by nonsense and make a leap into the DEEP END of awesome—connecting to something bigger than ourselves while making a contribution to our families and communities.
Honorable rest.
“Resting at the center while contributing to life in full measure.”
Let’s do that.
P.S. Reminds me of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s wisdom regarding how to sit while meditating. His advice? Sit with DIGNITY.
Right now.
Can you sit with a little more dignity. As Kabat-Zinn says, our posture IS our meditation.
Hold yourself with dignity today—knowing the Divine is within.
Remember the Buddha’s words: ‘When you are walking, walk; when you are sitting, sit. Don’t wobble.’
Practical wisdom + Untiring energy for the benefit of all
“You and I, when the mind is still, see that the mountains and the seas, the forests and the rivers, the animals and the birds, the trees and the plants, all nations, all races, all men and women and children, are one. Once you see this in the silence of your heart, you will never be the same person again. You will return from this summit of spiritual awareness full of practical wisdom, passionate love, and untiring energy which you will want to use for the benefit of all.”
Those are the final words of the book.
Reminds me of Thich Nhat Hanh’s beautiful thoughts on interbeing in Fear (see Notes): “When we look deeply into a sheet of paper, we see that it’s full of everything in the cosmos: the sunshine, the trees, the clouds, the earth, the minerals, everything—except for one thing. It’s empty of one thing only: a separate self. The sheet of paper cannot be by itself alone. That is why the word inter-be can be more helpful than the word be. In fact, to be means to inter-be. The sheet of paper cannot be without the sunshine, cannot be without the forest. The sheet of paper has to inter-be with the sunshine, to inter-be with the forest.”
There is only one way to be completely happy: to forget ourselves in the service of others.
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