Crazy Good
A Book of CHOICES
Steve Chandler tells us “There is bad and there is good . . . And then there is crazy good." And, our path to living a crazy-good life is simple. It's all about CHOICES. As with all of Steve's books, this one is packed with wisdom. Big Ideas we cover include The 5% Solution, Systems vs. Dreams, Game vs. Shame, and making life an experiment.
Big Ideas
- It’s all about your ChoicesThat’s what it’s ALL about.
- The 5% solutionThink: Incremental improvement.
- Dreams vs. SystemsOptimize your systems!
- Game vs. ShameOne is much more fun than the other.
- Sirens as signals of loveAs signals of love.
- Experiments never failNever fail. The more the merrier!
“There is bad and there is good . . . And then there is crazy good.
Crazy good is something that goes far beyond expectation that you’ve got goosebumps on your arms when you see it.
So imagine what it feels like to live it.
Most people (myself included, for most of my life) just ping-pong between bad and good. We are bad at something, and then we are good at something. And when we ping-pong over to good, it isn’t even that good. We see it as fairly good, and most often it’s just barely good enough.
But it never wakes the world up.
The world wakes up from something so much better than it needs to be. That’s when the flash of astonishment goes up and down our spine.”
~ Steve Chandler from Crazy Good
I love Steve Chandler.
I know I throw that word around quite a bit. In this case, I mean it in the deepest sense. I truly love Steve.
After interviewing him several years ago, we instantly hit it off and began working together immediately. He coached me for two years and has been one of THE biggest (positive) influence in my life.
Steve integrates everyone from Ken Wilber and Nathaniel Branden to Byron Katie and Alan Watts in a SUPER practical way and with an incredibly funny, self-deprecating style.
He’s a former suicidal alcoholic (!) who realized that he had a CHOICE about how he would live the rest of his life.
As a guy with a father who struggled with alcohol and a grandfather who struggled with alcohol + killed himself (not to mention as a guy with my OWN past struggles with feeling lost and hopeless), I, like so many others, find Steve’s hero’s journey extraordinarily inspiring. As he says, if HE can get to where he is, we all can.
This is Steve’s 37th book. And, it’s his best. It’s Crazy Good. (We also featured Wealth Warrior, Time Warrior, Fearless, and 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself.)
If you’re looking to go from a kinda-sorta-alright life to a fired up, crazy-good awesome one, I think you’ll love it. (Get a copy here.)
The book is PACKED with Big Ideas. Short little mini-chapters full of goodness. I’m excited to share some of my favorites so let’s jump straight in!
Download MP3
Download PDFNow for the most interesting question ever. Here it is: Can your whole life become crazy good?
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Listen to the PodcastIt’s all about your Choices
“I began my work as a coach by teaching people how to prevent going in the opposite direction of crazy good. I called it victim thinking. People who were able to identify and drop victim thinking made great gains in their lives.
But it wasn’t until I was well into my fifties that I found out a person can do even better than that.
Certainly moving away from the victim mindset was always reliably refreshing and energizing. But the real magic happened as I began to realize there was no upper limit to the life one could experience, or the creativity one could bring to this planet. And I mean anyone. As in everyone.
The path to that life, the crazy-good life, was a series of simple, clean and clear choices. They were choices that were hidden to most people, but once they were uncovered, anyone—you, even I—could easily make them.”
As the sub-title suggests, this is “A Book of Choices.”
The keys to optimizing and actualizing as we create a CRAZY GOOD life are not mysterious. They don’t involve years (decades?) of therapy and archaeological digs into our past behavior.
It’s all about simple choices. And action congruent with those choices. Steve walks us through 15 of the most powerful choices we can make. Here they are:
First Choice: Crazy good vs. Hard knock Second Choice: Choosing vs. Trying to decide Third Choice: Verb vs. Noun Fourth Choice: Creating vs. Reacting Fifth Choice: Something vs. Nothing Sixth Choice: Systems vs. Dreams Seventh Choice: Serving vs. Pleasing Eighth Choice: Game vs. Shame Ninth Choice: The Want-to vs. The How-to Tenth Choice: Agreement vs. Expectation Eleventh Choice: Testing vs. Trusting Twelfth Choice: Purpose vs. Personality Thirteenth Choice: Transformation vs. Information Fourteenth Choice: Love vs. Fear Fifteenth Choice: Living vs. Dying”
Those are our 15 core choices that make up the 15 sections of the book.
Each is packed with wisdom. We won’t have time to dive into every single one, of course, but here’s a quick look at a few of my favorites!
I can choose freedom, and if I choose freedom enough times, my life becomes better than good. It flies out there *beyond* good.
The 5% solution
“Please help me with this!
That’s what I said to Dr. Nathaniel Branden as I told him about my wife’s condition and my attempts to raise children on my own.
We talked about the foolishness of trying to change immediately and radically from nothing to something. From scared to confident. Instead, he taught me his 5% solution.
Dr. Branden had me give six rapid answers to the sentence stem, ‘If I were 5% more responsible for my life today . . .’
. . . then I would get more sleep. . . . I would delegate more of my office work to my team. . . . I’d read spiritual literature every morning. . . . I’d meet with my children’s teachers.. . . I’d plan my day and week more thoughtfully. . . . I’d ask for help more often.
He applied the same process to being 5% more peaceful inside, to being a 5% better parent, a 5% better husband, better provider, and on and on. It amazed me that the answers were always inside me, ready to pour out. They just needed some prompting and a kind of game to get it going.
By thinking in terms of a 5% improvement, my mind opened up easily. I saw all kinds of little things I could be doing immediately. I saw I could do anything 5% better, but to change something completely was frighteningly hard to think about.”
First, quick context: The “this” that Steve needed help with? His wife was institutionalized with multiple personality disorder—leaving him the sole caretaker of their four children. Wow. How’s *that* for a challenge?
Now, Nathaniel Branden (see Notes on The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem) did NOT try to solve everything at once. Why? Because that’s I.M.P.OS.S.I.B.L.E.
Nope. They went for getting 5% better. That’s doable.
So, let’s bring it to you. Let’s practice (key idea Steve talks about all the time—going from “information” to “TRANSFORMATION”!) sentence-stem completion to see all the tiny little things you can do to optimize your life just a little more today.
If I were 5% more responsible for my life today . . .
. . . __________________________________________. . . . __________________________________________. . . . __________________________________________. . . . __________________________________________. . . . __________________________________________. . . . __________________________________________.
Fantastic. Let’s remember that it’s all about incremental improvement compounded over time that leads to optimal awesomeness. Bust out the sentence stem completion exercise when you want to lean into a 5% solution!
P.S. Remember the Buddha! “Little by little a person become evil, as a water pot is filled by drops of water… Little by little a person becomes good, as a water pot is filled by drops of water.” → #dropbydrop
Self-criticism is like pulling a lamp’s plug out of the wall because it isn’t giving the room enough light. But now the room goes completely dark. Oops.
Dreams vs. Systems
“‘Every system is perfect,’ said Sanghi.
Okay? And?
‘Every system is perfect for the result it gets. If you want a different result, put in a different system.’
Oh, wow. That was a moment.
My system of not earning enough to pay my bills—or, of earning enough but spending it on other things—was perfect. It was perfect! (For the result it was getting. And that result was debt and worry and fear.)
Did I want a different result? Yes! Would it work to dream bigger? To put pictures of a castle in Spain on the wall? A castle where I would live in abundance? No. In fact, that castle would have ridiculed me and caused me to avert my eyes from it.
I simply needed a new system. A system that would be perfect for producing the result I wanted. A system I could live into and benefit from every day because it was not out there, stranded in my future.”
Every system is perfect. Every system gives you precisely the results you should expect from THAT system. So, if you want better results, the solution is shockingly (and awesomely) simple: Create a better system that gets you the results you want.
That’s REALLY powerful. Let’s keep it simple and not stress ourselves out about this. How about we go back and practice another 5% improvement via sentence stem completion?
If my systems were 5% more awesome today . . .
. . . __________________________________________. . . . __________________________________________. . . . __________________________________________. . . . __________________________________________. . . . __________________________________________. . . . __________________________________________.
That’s Part 1. Part 2? Remember: That vision board with your huge aspirational dreams is going to stress you out if your systems suck. Much better to replace it (or at the very least supplement it!) with a big ol’ calendar (I use this) on which you’ve mapped out how you’re going to make TODAY (and tomorrow and…) a beautiful masterpiece!
Remember #2: Mental Contrasting is WAY more powerful than creative visualization. Here’s how Piers Steel puts it in The Procrastination Equation (see Notes): “What happens if you forgo the second step and just focus on the positive fantasies alone? Creative visualization advocates just that. It involves creating vivid and compelling pictures of your heart’s desire, with the aim of drawing this vision toward you. But Oettingen, who has researched this for twenty years, finds that such fantasies tend to have the opposite effect than advertised; they sap motivational energy. The only wealth created by creative visualization is a rich fantasy life. Whether the task is preparing for exams, getting a job, recovering from surgery, smoking less, dating an attractive stranger, or improving personal relationships, she found that the worst-performing group used positive fantasies alone. You are better off not using the technique at all.”
When I was a desperate, suicidal alcoholic and I came to your home and you made me a strong drink, you were pleasing me. If, instead, you took me to a Twelve-Step meeting you were serving me. There’s a big difference between pleasing and serving.
Complaints are toxic when they aren’t converted into requests. They soon turn into resentments. And it isn’t long before those resentments show up to the party dressed as irreconcilable differences.
Game vs. Shame
“We make a game of it. But only because it works. If the other thing worked, we’d do it.
We can even see this work in the training of animals. It’s very effective motivation when a dolphin trainer gives a dolphin a small fish for jumping through a hoop. The dolphin loves that game. It’s rewarding. It’s a game! It’s tapping into the happiness and fun and play and joy of the player—the dolphin—the living creature.
It would be destructive to punish the dolphin for not jumping through the hoop. Why would what is destructive in training animals work on people? How long would a shaming dolphin trainer keep his job? Screaming at his dolphin:
‘Hey, you moron fish! Yea, you! What the hell is it with all the leaping? You’re missing the freaking hoop! What’s the point of that? Where’s your work ethic? Where’s your pride? And what’s with the grin? And that peeping noise!? You think this is funny? You think this is a game? Listen, entertainment is serious business. We put a lotta money into you.”
Hah. So good. Why would we talk to OURSELVES the way that silly trainer talked to his dolphin?! Makes no sense. Games are WAY more powerful than shame.
Here’s a question to make it super practical: How can you make today a game?
Here’s how I decided to make today a game: Steve sent me a pre-print Word doc version of this book yesterday. I printed it out. Finished half the book yesterday and, as I reflected on this section, I asked myself: How could I make today a game?
The answer was immediate: I’d finish the book THEN I’d finish the PhilosophersNote on it and send the Note back to Steve within about 24 hours after I got the book!!
This was my internal dialogue as I realized how cool that would be: “HAH!! YES!!!!! That would be *AWESOME*! Let’s do that!!!! We’ll make Steve laugh, embody Crazy Good awesomeness and show Steve how much we love him and appreciate him and his wisdom. Yep. That’s it. #done.”
With that game in place, I finished the book, took some time to hang out with the fam then immediately started working on the Note—skipping my usual reward of going online after my first AM time block and just kept on cranking. I can’t wait to see Steve’s reaction. And I’m giddy to ask myself this question every morning. :)
How can I make today a game?! (So… How can YOU?)
In my many years of coaching people (including coaching myself) games are the absolute best and most effective route to inspired action. They get me out of the stands and onto the field of play.
Sirens as signals of love
“It’s later that night. Now the sun has gone down. And I hear the sirens as I lie in bed. The sounds of the city. Before crazy good, the sirens bothered me. I would always think they meant trouble. Someone is hurt. Some crash has happened. Someone is being rushed to the hospital. The sirens were sad to hear.
But now the sirens are comforting . . . relaxing. They reassure me. They are the sound of someone helping someone else.”
That’s beautiful. And especially so for me these days as, about 45 days ago, my wife Alexandra was placed in an ambulance and rushed to the hospital. Twice in 18 hours.
She had two seizures. The first with her mom and our son while they were “glamping” and the second at home. I woke up around midnight to my Love in a full seizure—we called 911 and the paramedics arrived before she finished. A terrifying (tears in my eyes as I type that) reminder of just how precious and fragile life is.
Good news: Alexandra’s MRI is clean (exhale). Alexandra had seizures as a child so, like many others, she seems to have a genetically lower threshold to seizures. We’re learning a TON and turning poison into medicine.
We’re still digging into the myriad of potential influences on her seizures but, long story short, Alexandra’s sleuthing is pointing to MOLD as the likely catalyst to her episodes. (Apparently 28% of the population is sensitive to it. It’s *nuts* what mold (a neurotoxin) can do to your brain. Check out Dave Asprey’s compelling blog + documentary for more!)
But here’s the thing.
As we were going thru the experience, I was incredibly moved that so many people have dedicated their lives to HELPING those in need (in this case, us). The EMTs and firemen working the night shift to be there in a moment’s notice. The ER team away from their family to be there for us and others in need. It was truly astonishing and heart-opening to watch them so professionally and skillfully do what they’ve committed their lives to mastering.
Profound, crazy good service. That’s what I think of now every time I hear a siren.
Experiments never fail
“Testing means experimenting, and as the brilliant business author Dale Dauten says, ‘Experiments never fail.’
Experiments never fail because when you are experimenting you are just as eager to find out what doesn’t work as what does. Whatever you find out helps you grow. There is no failure in that.
Experiments give you a way to play with the universe. They allow you to interact with the real world and get some interesting answers. What works? What doesn’t? Let me try again. This is starting to kick in.”
That’s from a section called “Testing vs. Trusting.” This distinction is one of the most transformative ideas I picked up from my work with Steve. In fact, I loved it so much that I sent us both a lab coat and goggles to capture the spirit of an experimenter!
Don’t wait until everything is perfect and you can finally “trust” yourself. JUST. JUMP. IN. As Emerson says, “All life is an experiment. The more experiments the better.”
TEST! Then you’ll see what actually works and what doesn’t. It’s all data. Neutral. No big deal. You test, you learn, you grow. That’s where it’s at.
This mindset is also tied to another REALLY Big Idea from the book: Transformation vs. Information. We need to quit simply filling our brains up with new information. We need to APPLY the ideas to our lives and TRANSFORM ourselves in the process.
Transformation simply means change—my life is going to *change* out of what I get today. I am going to *apply* what I learn. I’m going to experiment with what I’ve learned today. I am going to listen all day with *usefulness* in mind. How can I use this?
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